I answered privately per their request, but thought I’d share here as well!:
I would be happy to give you some advice!
First thing: be very clear up front about what you are and are not able to do. The biggest issues I see in coordination stem from communication, so be sure to put in writing what they can expect from you, and what they should expect to take care of themselves. Will you be handling communications with vendors or will they? Are you responsible for placing rental orders or are they? It may feel uncomfortable to ask a friend to sign a contract, but it is the best way to ensure that all parties know exactly what to expect from each other.
Stay organized: Brides can get overloaded very quickly, so one of the best ways to keep her on track is to keep her organized. Put together a month-to-month timeline of what needs to be taken care of – Martha Stewart and Real Simple Weddings have great ones – and personalize it for her needs. As you get closer to the wedding, it should go week to week: vendor due dates, final guest count due, things like that. That way she is prepared and on schedule.
Figure out the little things: Everyone knows about the big parts of planning a wedding. You need a venue, a dress, decor, booze… but there are a hundred and one tiny details that need to be taken care of to make it come together. Do they need event insurance and a liquor license? Do they need to serve vendor meals? Take it upon yourself to pour over vendor/venue contracts to find the logistical details that they might have missed in the blissful haze of planning their big day.
Utilize your resources: You will be working with a lot of professionals on the big day and they have a wealth of knowledge that can come in incredibly handy. Make sure to keep your bride in the loop one these conversations and stay within the boundaries of their contracts when it comes to time and effort, but vendors can be happy to share information when it comes to making the day run more smoothly for everyone. This can include answering questions about timing, set up, what is and isn’t allowed at the venue, where to find local things like cake cutting sets or escort cards, you name it. Venue coordinators are especially helpful because they know the site and they have worked with a range of couples and vendors – trust me, we’ve seen it all.
Help keep things unified: Look through your brides eyes at the details and help her pull together decor, favors, paper products, menus, and all the little accents of a wedding to help keep it cohesive. Remember that this day is about her so be objective with your ideas and remember that it is much more personal for her than it is for you.
Help her enjoy!: This is a huge step for her, so remind her to take a step back when the details start to stress her out, switch topics if things like boutonniere ribbons start to drive her crazy, and take her out for some girls only time. On the big day, create a buffer zone so when there are little hiccups (and there always are) they don’t reach her. You are there to take that stress away from her and handle it with her and her fiance in mind.
Most of all: Take a deep breath! Planning can be more stressful than a lot of people realize. You’re there for support, help, and stress-relief but it is important to set reasonable expectations and boundaries so you can do the best possible job to help her.
Good luck!
